My current mood could be described mainly like this: one third optimistic, happy and cheerful. One third nervous, scared and worried, all mixed with anxiety about the future. And one third sadness about leaving my hometown.
It's mainly that whole moving out-thing. I'm going apeshit horsepoo crazy over this. Saturday is the big day. Gaaaah.
It makes me sad driving and walking around town. I lived in this city since early childhood, alas at the same place for 9 years, and it's a giant leap of faith forward for me to leave this behind and make room for something new. I sure won't forget all of those precious memories and experiences and I'm positive about my future at the new place, but it still makes me feel kinnda sad. Still, I feel like the wee little child I was when I walk by my old Kindergarten.
There's also the convenient moving stress I'm dealing with. My future room will be a lot smaller than what I have been living in before, so I'll have to leave a lot of my stuff behind. (Even though I recently came to the conclusion that I don't even own that much stuff... It's just that I do own a lot of furniture xD)
Also, there's my usual depression about people - will they be ok with me, will I be ok with them, am I a freak to them, am I able to make it on my own and so on. I hate myself for that. *sigh* Time for some resolving art I guess...
All my cartoons are sorta based on stuff that happens in my life, but there's a lot of gloomy -"my brain won't shut the fuck up"-stuff going on as well. So, A very personal piece, but I needed to get this out of my system.
And just for the record: it's 05:29am and I still haven't slept a second tonight :( Well, it's an early shower, a gallon of coffee and breakfast for me and then it's back to packing...
May the fourth be with you,
CK
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